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Thursday, March 8th, 2007
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9:13 pm - Sexy Party Time!
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Ok. So here's the dillio. I'm having a party at the Hole in the Wall, tomorrow night FRIDAY MARCH 9th at 9:30pm, and I would love to see any and all of you! Even if I don't know you. Who cares! If you're fun and laid back and nice, that is all that is required. Heck, even if you're a bump on a log, boring and dull. Even if you're mean. But not enough to make people cry.
call me if you have questions. 2 one 4 six zero 613 three for
LONG LIVE THE PARTIES!
current mood: partylicious
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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| Thursday, December 8th, 2005
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10:08 am
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| Wednesday, November 23rd, 2005
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12:40 pm - I just wanted to say...
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I am not a pagan, but I know a bunch of them. I met Lynette (aka Sunshine) at freshman orientation in Austin, and then through her, more. My first summer in Austin was magikally fun (hehehe) because I met the pagans. I participated in the mid-summer's ritual, and it was beautiful, silly, splendid. I was raised by serious Muslims, where the afterlife and the current life is very serious business. The spiritual world is filled with angels, servants of Allah, and jin, mysterious creatures that do both good and evil. In the afterlife there is a terrible hell and an exquisite heavan. We have no savior, and must work to get to heavan. The Muslim view of the world is very serious. Allah is a jealous god, we must worship Allah in the way that we were taught by our Prophet, who is the last prophet. To do otherwise is blasphemy. Thousands of years ago Abraham destroyed the idols in the kabbah. We should follow his example.
I fell in love with the pagans I met, because I sensed that their spiritual life, their afterlife and their current life, are as joyous or serious as you make them. Ultimately what matters is the desire to connect with the divine and share the journey with others.
Anyway, I hope for the best for the Texas Pagan community because I think you guys are awesome. Here's to you, PSA, PCN, CMA, and any others I don't know about! Assalamun alaykum (Peace be on ya'll.) Good luck with everything.
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(6 comments | comment on this)
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| Sunday, October 12th, 2003
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11:08 pm - "The child is father of the man"
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I want my mother. I want to be 4 years old again, in her arms, falling asleep in the dark, warmness washing over me and through me. I am so little, my hand upon her breast is so small her voice is the whole world, I haven't even gone to kindergarden yet.
Yep, thats exactly what I want! But thats not life. You have to grow up, and work, and suffer. And thats that.
Pish posh!
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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| Friday, July 11th, 2003
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9:03 am - i did this on purpose... i'm not an outsider, no!
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You are... not an Aphrodite!
Perhaps you are Robert, the local homeless guy,
patron to insanity, or maybe you are one of the
creeplies that live in the abandoned house
across the street, or perhaps you are a Zombie,
in which case you should be beaten, a lot,
until you die... again.
Whoever you are, I don't know how you ended up
on this quiz and you are starting to creep me
out...
Go away, and hey, crazy, put some pants on.
What ANSoL character are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
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(comment on this)
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| Tuesday, July 1st, 2003
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3:49 pm
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3:46 pm - 3 Hours Away, hahahaha
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| Friday, May 2nd, 2003
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9:36 pm
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| Tuesday, March 25th, 2003
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9:06 pm
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"Monsters exist, but they are too few in number to be truly dangerous. More dangerous are the common men, the functionaries ready to believe and to act without asking questions."
-Primo Levi
I read this in one of Amanda's emails, and it really made me think. My thoughts
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(comment on this)
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| Thursday, March 20th, 2003
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5:46 pm
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| Tuesday, February 25th, 2003
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10:36 am - About that squishiness....
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I don't know. America is a place where power is power. I almost typed "America is a place where power is worshiped." but I paused and I'm not sure why. I think I'm worried about talking too much because words are so easily used, so easily read, and much too easily judged. Words are extraordinarily dangerous. They are physically easy to say, they are easy to interpret on the surface and they are the cause of misunderstanding, understanding, war, blood, death, and love. The way people communicate is so completely haphazard and dangerous, that it makes me want to not speak at all. Words spoken quickly are one hundred times worse than not saying anything at all. It is within the common knowledge of our culture (and most others) that one should "think before one speaks" and that "Silence is golden" But we don't *really* know this. I don't really know this, because if I did I probably wouldn't be typing right now. It makes me very nervous, because I think that the problems we have in the world today are the problems we have always had, and will always have because they are a direct result of the way people communicate. And I'm not sure how to change it.
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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| Tuesday, February 18th, 2003
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9:56 am - Is it true?
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This was one of the firing lines in the opinion section of the Daily Texan today:
----I would like to share the quotation from Hermann Goering, the president of the Reichstag during Nazi Germany and the commander-in-chief of the Luftwaffe. It reads as follows: "Naturally the common people don't want war. Neither in Russia, nor in England, nor for that matter in Germany. That is understood. But after all, it is the leaders of the country who determine the policy and it is always a simple matter to drag the people along, whether it is a democracy, or a facist dictatorship. Voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to the biddings of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is to tell them they are being attacked, and denounce the peacemakers for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger. It works the same in any country."
I also want to say one thing about living in America. We have so many rights that it makes my heart feel warm and happy and squishy sometimes! We can walk through the streets of downtown Austin, and the police will block cars for us so that we can protest, and express our views about a war that our government is pursuing. It makes me proud to be an American that anti-abortion activists can stand in front of Gregory gym with enormous posters of dead fetuses. Though I do not agree with their position, or their way of expressing their position on the issue, I am glad that they have the right to do this. Because that means I have rights. It means that we are a democracy if we want to be. I know that American civil liberties are not perfect, but it seems to me that we've come pretty close to it. Has anyone had an experience that says otherwise?
Also, it looks like we might be going to war afterall. I'm not sure if there's anything we can do to stop it. http://www.cnn.com/2003/WORLD/meast/02/18/iraq.tracker.update/
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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| Monday, February 17th, 2003
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3:24 pm - feud on AIM
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I like arguing. I like to think that sometimes people learn things about each other and about different viewpoints by arguing. But I realize that what happens most of the time is that people yell and get emotional and do not hear that the other person has said. So Kevin Gaudett and I had this conversation today. I corrected the spelling so that it can be read more easily. I am neonspacebuzzard, and he is krimegaud for those who don't know.
neonspacebuzzard: we should have dinner partys next year. You can cook your jewish food and I can cook my muslim food
krimegaud: no u might try to poison me or bomb my children
neonspacebuzzard: lol
neonspacebuzzard: can't be too cautious i guess :-P
neonspacebuzzard: i mean, you might try to kick me out of my apartment or something
krimegaud: hmmm kick u out versus bombing children
neonspacebuzzard: or killing my roommates if we refuse to leave
krimegaud: our holy book does not promote slaughtering of innocents in gods name
neonspacebuzzard: neither does ours kevin
neonspacebuzzard: in no way
krimegaud: can u say jihad
neonspacebuzzard: it says that if you kill one man it is as if you have killed all of humanity
neonspacebuzzard: jihad means "to struggle"
neonspacebuzzard: you know as well as i do that extremists will twist words and can say whatever they want
krimegaud: if its as if u killed all humanity.....then stop killing jews samia!
neonspacebuzzard: the fact is that the majority of muslims are peaceful and would never hurt another human being - the same is true of jewish people. To make a blanket statement based upon a lack of knowledge is wrong.
neonspacebuzzard: especially if what your saying is accusatory and hurtful to other muslims.
neonspacebuzzard: the word islam comes from the stem salam which means peace for cryin out loud!
krimegaud: then let their be peace
krimegaud: no more jews killed/no more muslims killed
neonspacebuzzard: ok
neonspacebuzzard: fine
neonspacebuzzard: i agree :-P
krimegaud: easy enough
neonspacebuzzard: you'd think so
krimegaud: so if u will kindly stop murdering jews samia! then i will stop retaliating by taking your home
krimegaud: u killer u
neonspacebuzzard: kevin!!! I think it's the other way around
neonspacebuzzard: or it could be argued very easily and logically the other way around
krimegaud: obviously u have never read anything about the zionist movement
neonspacebuzzard: well isn't it true that the palestinians were there originally, and they had to leave their homes to make room for the jewish people?
krimegaud: not exactly
krimegaud: jewish people during ww2
krimegaud: bought up like 90% of what is today israel
krimegaud: and all those who escaped the holocaust headed there
neonspacebuzzard: I think israel was a bad idea. I don't think you can start a country based upon religion or race. we should just get rid of israel and paelstine and make it one big happy isrealistine. fuck dis segregtation its bullshit
krimegaud: and the US and britain helped make it a state
neonspacebuzzard: well right but you can't just move somewhere and say hey, we need a home, get out!
neonspacebuzzard: i know but that doesn't make it right
krimegaud: bought the land!!!!
neonspacebuzzard: Really? are you sure?
krimegaud: yep
neonspacebuzzard: ok but you don't know how much the families were paid, if they were paid at all, and if it was done forcibly
krimegaud: forcibly.....by people who were being killed off 1000 miles away
krimegaud: somehow i doubt that
krimegaud: how much the people were paid i have no clue about
krimegaud: but i think its a moot point
krimegaud: if muslims and jews just leave each other alone from now on things would be fine
krimegaud: but all those radicals bomb people
neonspacebuzzard: I don't know much about the early zionist movement, but I'm pretty sure that the Jewish people were not evil and unjustified. But i am also absolutely sure that the palestinians were not unjustified in feeling angry and displaced, and that the problems we have today are because of the segregationist attitudes that were set up back then.
krimegaud: and give sharon an excuse to kick more palestinians out of israel
neonspacebuzzard: grah!
neonspacebuzzard: it's complicated. But i think the best solution is to make one unified state.
neonspacebuzzard: you can't have the muslims and jews "leave each other alone."
krimegaud: omg
neonspacebuzzard: we have to learn to live together
krimegaud: one unified state so that the PLO can have control of the jewish people
neonspacebuzzard: PLO?
krimegaud: palestinian liberation organization
krimegaud: what arafat is head of
neonspacebuzzard: a significant proportion of the population is christian, by the way
neonspacebuzzard: and no thats not what i'm talking about.
krimegaud: its not a significant portion except in jerusalem
krimegaud: and they tend not to go out murdering innocents and saying its helping their cause
krimegaud: at least try to target soldiers for gods sake
neonspacebuzzard: i know that the Jewish people are afraid that they'll be wiped out if their state is not maintained a strictly jewish population, but that is fear, and you cannot live in fear forever. the palestinans are afraid too. the best solution is a democratic state in which there is no PLO or radical Jewish people either
neonspacebuzzard: I'm not justifiying what the terrorists are doing over there
krimegaud: u misunderstand
neonspacebuzzard: but there is no justification for the murder of children and women and innocent civilians by the Isreali military which is happening
krimegaud: yasser arafat has been quoted on saying that he will drive the Jews into the ocean
neonspacebuzzard: and i wonder what Sharon has to say about the palestinians
krimegaud: not unless they throw rocks at them or some terrorist uses them as a body shield
neonspacebuzzard: 2 year olds????
krimegaud: terrorists with guns hide behind women and children
krimegaud: and in their homes
neonspacebuzzard: kevin do you really believe the isreali army is innocent of all crimes? I don't pretend to believe the palestinians have done nothing wrong!
krimegaud: no they aren’t innocent
neonspacebuzzard: exactly
neonspacebuzzard: they have commited attrocities as well
krimegaud: but they dont try to kill young families
neonspacebuzzard: and nearly double the causalities have been on the palestinian side
neonspacebuzzard: you don't know that kevin
krimegaud: wrong
neonspacebuzzard: you don't
neonspacebuzzard: no thats not wrong
krimegaud: the numbers are even thanks
neonspacebuzzard: give me some sources
krimegaud: add up all the people who get slaughtered on bus bombs
neonspacebuzzard: they are counted
krimegaud: and in the supermarket
neonspacebuzzard: hold on let me get a source
krimegaud: and for the last 20 years
krimegaud: u arrive at equal numbers
neonspacebuzzard: you don't know that
neonspacebuzzard: you're making assumptions
neonspacebuzzard: you could be right but you have no basis for those statements
neonspacebuzzard: especially because palestinans have also been murdered and unaccounted for
neonspacebuzzard: it could be even
neonspacebuzzard: or maybe its not
krimegaud: whats really interesting is that palestinians end up killing a few of their own when they bomb those busses
neonspacebuzzard: yep
krimegaud: and yet radicals continue to do these horrible things
krimegaud: killing their own families and the families of jewish people too
krimegaud: im sure they are pissed off
krimegaud: but give me a break
krimegaud: no excuse for killing people who are innocent in the matter and thus bringing more hell upon yourself
neonspacebuzzard: I agree! but the Israeli army is doing the same thing!! In different ways, yes, and maybe "provoked" but the palestinians have been driven to desperation. You can't justify the wrongs on either side, but the fact is that both sides have MURDERED. Jewish soldiers have gone into palestinian homes and murdered families, bulldozed cities, held curfews, barricaded towns, and some have raped palestinian women. There is enormous hatred on both sides and as a result evil is propogated.
krimegaud: both sides have done wrong but in every case where there is a ceasefire guess who breaks it
neonspacebuzzard: I don't believe that for one second
krimegaud: by killing off women and children on both sides!
neonspacebuzzard: Sharon is as crazy as Arafat, they're both blood thirsty and meglomaniacs
krimegaud: i dont particularly like sharon either
krimegaud: but he is not responsible for breaking peace accords
neonspacebuzzard: what is your statement based upon?
krimegaud: have u been watching the news for the past oh 15 years
neonspacebuzzard: yes i have and if i remember correctly there were plenty of times where sharon broke peace accords
neonspacebuzzard: officially and unofficially
neonspacebuzzard: i have to get going
neonspacebuzzard: thanks for the conversation though
krimegaud: yeah
krimegaud: lets not talk about this again
krimegaud: cause u won’t believe me and i won’t believe u
neonspacebuzzard: well ok. but i think that this is what needs to be done. i think people need to talk, and look at the other side and try to understand. it shouldn't be about belief so much as about facts, but i guess we have to deal with what we've got.
krimegaud: not gonna happen
neonspacebuzzard: i think it will
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(12 comments | comment on this)
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| Sunday, February 16th, 2003
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6:03 pm
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| Saturday, February 15th, 2003
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1:47 am - well i'll be damned
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| Thursday, January 30th, 2003
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7:41 pm - Dropkick me through the goalposts of life
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Today I skipped my first class. I feel awful about it, especially because it was organic chemistry. I was just so tired, and my bed was so warm and it was so early. And yesterday I had to get up early too for bird class.
Last night I went exploring. I found a new roof. I cannot take full credit for it because Michael gave me some hints on how to find it. This one is even cooler than Patterson's roof because there is no railing and to get to it you have to climb up a ladder and crawl through a hatch. I felt like a criminal! On top of the roof are these massive blowers, and there was some old scrap metal. I couldn't figure out why there was metal up on the roof. It looked like a car fender. I also found a basement that I didn't know existed. The basement is in Taylor Hall, the old comp. sci. building.
Now I'm going to take a shower. I didn't study at all today, but I will tonight.
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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11:23 am - A tale of desire and longing, heartbreak, enormous joy, bitterness,and sadness
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....that nothing short of a dispassionate life could cure.
________________________________________________________________
She has been sitting here for 10 years as though she had not budged once, comfortably hunched over, with her flip flops on the bench next to her and her toes playing with the gravel in the cement cracks of the sidewalk. Which wasn't really a sidewalk but just cement that people walked on.
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(comment on this)
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12:19 am
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A blueness might shatter me.
A star, a ling, flung over the kitchen table,
There are dragons and castles you know.
I tassled the corn you know.
Pound on the keys! Though I don't know the notes.
Frantic and beautifully yours,
mine,
Red will penetrate me,
Sink it's teeth into my soul,
my sallow sleepy
train.
Rain in the dark slipping down the windowsill,
My memory entangled in yours, and yours
on a pillow, her lips parted, spittle,
tired from a day that doesn't end.
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(comment on this)
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| Monday, January 27th, 2003
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5:03 pm - Does omnipitance preclude evil?
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I finally wrote a rant. I haven't wrote a rant in a long time, and I just spent the past 30 minutes writing one. It is a beautiful feeling to feel the world around you, and I don't do that often enough. Maybe its one of those things that comes with practice. Alex has a weblog! He's very excited about writing because it is new, and I hope he will not lose his enthusiasm. Lynette is right to be afraid. I think one of the easiest and most natural things in the world is to become apathetic. Lions do it, wolves do it, and so do all creatures when there is ample sustenence. Only when we are forced to struggle do we become productive. I guess that is one of the hardest parts of living in a world where most everything comese easily. You must force yourself to struggle! It is easy to accept a mediocre life, and it is just as easy to judge a life as mediocre. Only one person can know if their life is mediocre, and that is the person living it. I can't say "oooh, look at Alex, he's so mediocre!" Well, maybe I can say that, but it wouldn't be true, or even approach being true because I have not lived his life. You know what bugs me? Theres this enormous banner, like as big as a building on top of the co-op bookstore with the pictures of a few people on it. One of them is Stephen Weinberg, because he's won the noble prize in physics, and I'm not sure who the rest are. But they're all up there because they've won some prize or the other. Stephen Weinberg is not necessarily a good person. It seems to me that their faces are up there just because they won a prize and that sounds cool. I guess a prize does signify a great accomplishment, but it makes me feel uncomfortable. Like not enough research has been done to put their faces up on a wall. No one is perfect so maybe I'm just being stupid. http://www.gleep.blogspot.com
A few days ago I came out of the bathroom in the life sciences library and in front of me was a bookshelf, and there were 22 books called "Nephron" 22 thick blue hardcover books packed with tiny print about nephrons. It's astounding how much knowledge we've acquired over the years, but what is more astounding is how little we've done with it, and how little we'll ever do with it. There are possibly millions of books in the world, in hundreds or maybe thousands of languages. Presently, there are about 6 billion people alive, which means 6 billion brains, thinking, and living, and experiencing a physical world that is harsh, unforgiving, and yet entirely and inconceivably natural. But we are all living one life, and it is impossible for anyone to live more than one life simultaneously. We are alone, and alone again each time a new person is born. And every time a person dies, we lose most of what they've accomplished in their lifetime. It takes so much time and energy for a person to grow up. Which is why nobody should ever die! All living things contains some knowledge of what it is to be alive in this world, but we will never be able to consolidate this knowledge. That is the problem with books. There are so many of them. No single person could read every book in the world and then do something useful with all of that knowledge because there is not enough time. Can you imagine what would happen if someone could do that? Can you imagine the wisdom of someone who could have all the knowledge of every living creature, and of all the books that have ever been written? If a person could have the knowledge of every individual wolf that has ever lived, and the knowledge of every individual drosophila fly that has ever lived, and the knowledge of every individual human being, and monkey, and virus, and flower, that would be amazing! Do viruses and flowers have knowledge? I think they do. Their knowledge is not contained in a network of neurons, but it is the act of living as they do. It is the biological, physical, and chemical knowledge of being a plant or a virus. Not concious, or even subconsious, their "knowledge" is their existance. It is the interactions of the molecules that compose their cells, and the interactions of the cells that form their organs, and that ultimatly compose the individual. That is knowledge as real as any. I think we could live in a perfect world if everyone knew everything. If we could experience life through every possible perspective I believe there would never be another war, there would never be another murder, and there would never be crime. But maybe I'm wrong. Would it be possible to have infinite knowledge and still be cruel and selfish? I don't know if that is possible.I think "evil" stems from ignorance. Selfish, cruel acts are the result of a missing piece of knowledge. If you truely could live through another individual and know everything about what it is to be that person (or insect) then how could you harm it? If there was a good reason, it might be possible, but is there ever a good reason? If someone had all of the knowledge in the world, would they also have knowledge of good and evil? Would every situation be clear and simple? Or would things still be grey and inbetween.
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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11:03 am
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I was quite irresponsible this weekend, quite! I have a long list of things to do now. Life is strange with its twists and turns, and stranger still when you're back is positioned in such a way that a twist might crack it.
I'm probably going to live in the dorms again next year. I have mixed feeling about that. I guess I have the rest of my life to live in a home and I might as well just stay here where its easy. Lia's going to Hungary next year, and we can't find more people to live with. I want to keep living with Nida because I'm used to her ways and she's the closest thing to a sister I've ever had, but she doesn't want to stay in the dorms and I don't want to move out.
I got a good nights sleep and took a shower and now I'm going to do my homework and then go buy a book from the bookstore. I HATE MY COMPUTER!
I want to ask but I won't. In this case, I think the saying is true "Good things come to those who wait." But not in that other case.
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(comment on this)
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simsimm's journal
